this morning, i sat in bed while the rain dripped outside and devoured an iced latte and amanda’s newest book in one sitting.
'to make monsters out of girls' is a darkly whimsical narrative of a person who, despite past abuse, is able to cultivate a self-love that blooms and welcome in a romantic-love that nurtures. she learns that there is intimacy in the world that heals instead of destroys, and conveys the importance of portraying mistreatment candidly so that others are validated in their own, messy chronicles.
it’s so easy to look back at chapters of our lives and tell them with the hindsight bias we have now. i appreciate the way amanda thoughtfully inspects the monstrous relationship and acknowledges her own faults while still holding the abuser completely accountable. no one is perfect. but no one deserves cruel manipulation disguised as love.
my favorite pieces/quotes:
“i can’t tell the difference between you & the dead of winter. - at least winter makes way for spring.”
“in the spring, the thawing began. with a hand clutched to my chest, i stumbled down that overgrown path, dug through the softened dirt, & took that beatless thing back into my hands. i leaned in & whispered to it, “please don’t give up. not yet. there’s still someone you should be beating for—me.” somewhere in that darkness, the faintest sparkle of light bloomed.”
“my new love— he’s got a green thumb. where you neglected me & let the weeds overtake, he’s always so very nurturing. & you’ll never guess what— he made for damn sure he repotted me where i could stretch towards the light & finally outgrow you.”
“that girl belongs to the coffee shops & the bookstores & the treetops— but mostly she just belongs to herself”
the vulnerability + honesty in this collection inspires me. amanda's brutal, unapologetic poetry makes me want to harness my own power and boldly declare my strength + my truth. i will be waiting impatiently until march for 'the mermaid's voice returns in this one'
